Read TIme – 4 min

Wandering Time – ∞

When we see someone and get awed by the way they carry themselves. There way of styling their hair and the kind of silhouette they make after wearing their clothes. We come across them in a walking gallery and by chance we make eye contact and that contact is persistent enough to remember each other. After that they are in our thoughts. Slowly, based on our own upbringing and individual experiences we start sculpting a personality out of that 5 sec contact we made with them.

We take everything into consideration, from the way they walked, wore and expressed. And very conveniently make a sculpture out of all the minute details we saw in them.

The sculpture is hollow from inside.

Then, we split ourselves into two. One part goes inside the hollow space to mimic the actions and thoughts of the sculpture and the other part stays outside.

From the inside, through the eye sockets of the sculpture,

while we are mimicking the thoughts of the person, we see ourselves and we start making statements about ourselves. Those statements are sometimes harsh and sometimes very convenient. We conveniently start making assumptions and conclusion about ourselves, on the way we talk, on the way we dress, on the way we look and if it’s a girl or a boy, then on the way our relationship with them.

In between those assumptions there are ones where we accept ourselves, like some habits, or our looks. And when we make them, we tend to feel a comfort. Since we are looking through the hollow sculpture of the person at ourselves, this comfort associates itself with the person and we unknowingly start feeling comfortable around them.

This says that we are too critical about ourselves and too worried over how we are being portrayed to the other person. But more importantly also tells us that we are looking for acceptance for ourselves through other person’s eyes.

And in all this chaos and thinking, we fail to see that we are not liking the other person, but instead we are liking the possibility of them not judging, chaining or piercing us through their thoughts and words.

Here we need to understand that, when something like this happens, although there may be a possibility of a real connection, but a bigger possibility of us seeking external validation is more. A phenomena like this has the power to remind ourselves, that we still do not love ourselves, we are still looking for acceptance.

It does not mean that until we accept ourselves, we cannot fall in love or be in a situation like this. We can keep doing both the things together, because accepting ourselves is a life long process, as written by CG Jung.

But a conscious look at our situation is needed for such a phenomena, or else we’ll keep thinking that we have found the love of our life, whereas all we did was look for acceptance and tried to fill holes of our soul by using someone else.